Putting On The Ritz

Every Thursday night a mass of 20 somethings descend into the magical cave that is the Ritz in Toorak village to dance until the wee hours. No wind or rain shall deter them nor shall the pretty much vertical stairs – too many times have I been witness to people holding onto the rail as if it were the only thing between them and death… come to think of it’s probably worse than death. Who wants to be the person that stacked at the Ritz and flashed everyone? Perhaps a select few, naming no names obviously.

It’s kind of like that episode of Gossip Girl where Blair throws the Kiss on the Lips Party  where everyone comes together to take advantage of alcohol and the potential social clout of a photo with a little Ritz logo in the corner. Whoever edits those photos edits with an iron fist and a penchant for the blonde/long limbed amongst us. There are really only a limited number of people who look like Blake Lively, can we please diversify a bit!

But how does one dress for such an event you may well ask? On any given week it’s like the ghosts of high school past in that place so one would never want to look sub par. Thankfully I’ve been able to identify some easy but important guidelines for myself:

If you are a boy it is imperative that your shirt have a logo from one of the following three: Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger or Gant (for those who are a bit out there)

The amount of space between your actual leg and the seam of your pants must never exceed 1mm (I’ve altered most of my pants accordingly)

And finally if the hem of said chinos or jeans is not cuffed you really need to nip into the loo and make that quick change.

For girls the options are limitless in comparison! I’m not saying that a maxi is necessarily going to go down well there – again consider all those stairs – but by ensuring you’re in something that is relatively snug you are setting yourself up for a ripper night on the town.

By adhering to these rules one can be sure to feel right at home when getting down and dirty in the RnB room. For those that dare to dream outside this fashion box though I can only salute you and acknowledge that you have more fashion balls than I do. You’ll probably get a photo too…

Kudos.

Disclaimer: Photo from tumblr.com